From: Hedgehogey <hedgehogey@aol.comidiocy> Subject: Re: [PW!] Wrong turn ATTN Pokemon Pack Date: Sunday, October 24, 1999 9:56 AM Pokespeach pretranslated. The scene was a contrasting one. On one side the now peaceful battleground, the reinforcements from the pokemon resistance were partying. Thanatos the gengar, who was not phased by death in the least was blaring his guitar. On the other side, dopplers followers (who had sustained many more casaulties then the resistance reinforcements) were mourning their dead and trying to cure their wounded. Darwin was simply exhausted. Unable to find the energy for celebrating or grieving, he simply collapsed on the grass and lay there. He had been in the front lines of the assault on protopticon and some shrapnel had cut across his side, creating a wound which hurt worse then a pokemon control officers stun stick but wasn’t serious enough to warrant the attention of the overworked chansey nurses. He snoozed…… The next morning he was interrupted from his post battle nightmares by an annoying, insistent beeping in his ear. Grudgingly he opened his eyes to see a magnemite hovering inches from his face. Darwin unsheathed his claws and readied to swipe the annoying metal thing away when it spoke in a monotone voice. "Message from resistance central HQ to operative Darwin. New mission is available for you. Playing tape now." In the tiny space between darwins face and the magnemite a box of text appeared. "From: Council of resistance leaders (Resistancemail@Pokelink.netnotrainers) To: Operative Darwin Greetings operative. You have been selected for a mission of utmost importance which will take much time. The resistance is in need of intelligence on the location of the resting home for pokemon masters known as "Azure Heights". To do this we need a resistance pokemon to defeat the elite four. Collect the 8 badges by defeating the gym leaders in one on one matches (bonus pay for any damage you may cause to the gyms in the process). After that we will provide transportation to the indigo plateau where you will challenge the elite four. Once you defeat them, we will give you a special swallowable transmitter which will pinpoint your location to us. Mission difficulty: Hard Expected mission length: 1-2 years Payment: amount of 100,000 dollars after mission completion Danger: Moderate-high " The Text dissapeared and the magnemite beeped again. "Do you wish to accept this mission?" Darwin thought for a minute. "Why the hell not?" he thought, specifically and spoke "Yes. Now go the hell away." The magnemite beeped again. "Orders prevent me from doing that. I am to stay with you and help you defeat misty, who is, judging by our current location your next challenge." Darwin was ready to kill the magnemite, resistance or not. "I already defeated misty, stupid." Darwin said, pointing to the muddied cascade badge pinned to his fur. "I am to assist you in defeating misty." "I already defeated her!" "I am to assist you in defeating misty." "Look you bastard, that obstacle is no more! It has ceased to be! This is an ex challenge!" "I am to assist you in defeating misty." Darwin sighed. Looked like he wouldn’t be able shake the damn thing. He slashed at the magnemite and connected only to receive a shock for his efforts. He lunged at it but it dodged aside. He used swift but (in seeming violation of the laws of physics) the magnemite dodged it. Nothing worked. "Ok looks like we’re stuck together then. Maybe, if I try really hard I won’t almost puke at the sight of you. What’s your name?" "My name is unimportant. I am assist you in defeating misty." "Ok mynameisunimportant, point me to saffron city." "I am to escort you to the cerulean gym and" "yes yes I know, assist me in defeating misty." Darwin did not relish the prospect of returning to cerulean city especially after Zapdos had nearly fried him but he didn’t appear to have a choice. Right now he was equidistant from cerulean city, mount moon and viridian city. If he tried going to saffron he’d probably miss it and viridian city and mount moon weren’t high on his list of places to go. Moon stones didn’t have any effect on eevees and Giovanni would probably kill him if he entered his gym. Team rocket and La Resistance were none too friendly. "Ok, point me to cerulean city." Darwin said, dejectedly. The magnemite spun until it pointed roughly northward. Darwin started towards Cerulean city with the magnemite following close, regrettably. They had been walking for half an hour when Darwin picked up a curious scent that rose above the normal earthy scent of the forest. It smelled of fabric and detergent and of things humanmade. Like ammonia, it stung his nostrils. His fur stood on end and his claws unsheathed themselves, presenting an image that was hardly cute. A rustle from a nearby bush and the source of the scent emerged. A ten year old boy wearing shorts decorated with symbols for pokemon he’d caught emerged from the bush. Darwin snatched the magnemites antidex for a second and pointed it at the shorts kid. "I can’t defeat misty if I don’t take your antidex." "Shorts kid: The brat type trainer. It is aggressive and will attempt to destroy or capture any human or pokemon not wearing its type of clothing." Said the frisbee shaped machine. "I am going to avenge the humiliations of my cousins at the hands of you independent pokemoooooon! Go weedle!" The shorts kid screamed before collapsing, out of breath. The little bug pokemon materialized in front of darwin and readied its stinger, trying its very best to look menacing and failing miserably. "Weedle, use psybeam!" Everybody except the shorts kid sweatdropped. The weedle turned to his trainer "Weeedle? Weeweedle?" <Huh? What’s wrong with you?> "C’mon some other guys weedle used psybeam, you can too. Use psybeam, Gosh darnit!" Darwin just sat back and enjoyed the show. "Is this guy for real?" Darwin said to the magnemite who offered no witty reply. "Do you really want to fight for this guy?" Darwin said to the hairy bug. That was the final blow to the weedles loyalty. It sank its stinger into the shorts kids exposed calf. The shorts kid ran away screaming and the weedle crawled into the bush in the opposite direction. After another half hour of walking the forest parted to reveal cerulean city, in all its shiny glory. "Oh wow, deja vu!" Darwin thought to himself. Suddenly a shorts kid with no pants streaked past darwin. He held out a paw and he came tumbling down. "Maybe a resistor did that……" Darwin thought. He unsheathed a claw and jumped onto the shorts kids neck. "Who did this to you?" Darwin said before realizing he couldn’t speak english. Luckily the magnemite translated for him and the shorts kid pointed north to a peaceful looking park. Darwin walked into the park. It was a peaceful place with a fountain of a goldeen spitting water in the middle. A few pidgey hung around the fountain, trying to beg crumbs from passersby. On a nearby bench stood a raichu with a halberd, an ekans with a pair of pants in its mouth and a clefable with a katana. Curled up at the foot of the bench was a VERY attractive female eevee. Darwin found himself staring at Keri. He gathered his willpower and removed his eyes from Keri. Other priorities came first. He asked the raichu "Excuse me: Where can a pokemon get some free food around here?" TBC? Hedge Man is quite insane. He would not know how to make a maggot yet invents gods by the dozens.-Montaigne Wilson hussars real identity is revealed: Clan wolverine!-guy on rgm Tv is more alluring than thinking-Rich