Subject: [PW!] GEODUDOO. Date: Wed, 03 Nov 1999 00:20:06 -0500 From: RobfromVoid <RobfromVoid@prodigy.net> Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon Luthor rubs his sore pink head with one of his blue paws, still recovering from crashing through one of Mount Moon's rocky walls. Rays of light pour into the otherwise dark cavern through two holes in the side of the wall. The holes are shaped like the outlines of small Slowpoke and a curvaceous Bulbasaur. Upon gazing at the shapes of the holes, Luthor glances around the area, looking for Poison Ivy. He finds his Bulbasaur sprawled on the ground, only barely conscious. "Bulb...ba...saur..." Poison Ivy gasps, raising her tiny hand towards Luthor, clearing showing that she's asking for help. Luthor isn't about to scold Poison Ivy for showing pain. While he normally would, the helpful Bulbasaur just saved him from a carbonated grave in the Diet Coke Bottle From Hell: Evolved Form, and Luthor figures she needs rest, "Poison Ivy, return." A Pokeball floats off of Luthor's belt, and Poison Ivy gets transported inside so she can relax for a while. Now that Luthor's conflict with the Pokemon Resistance is over, and his army is back on his belt, he can proceed to continue his quest for world domination. But first, he must find a way out of the labyrinth known as Mount Moon. Luthor stares down a corridor that leads to the left, then turns his face to the right and sees another equally valid way to go, "There seems to be a fork in the road. It's a shame that there aren't any native Pokemon around. The only thing here is that worthless gray boulder over there!" Luthor states at a large gray rock for ten seconds, before coming to a realization, "Hey... wait a minute! There's a Geodude behind that boulder!" Surely enough, a Geodude is hiding behind the boulder. Luthor approaches the lone Geodude and says, "The great Luthor is trying to find his way out of this cavern. Tell Luthor the information he requires right now, or he will destroy you with his frightfully powerful psychic abilities!" The Geodude opens his mouth wide and shouts so loud that echoes ensue, "LUTHOR CAN'T DESTROY GEODUDOO. GEODUDOO WILL DESTROY EVERYONE. GEODUDOO LAUGHS AT HOW PATHETIC YOU ARE. GEODUDOO ALSO LAUGHS AT HOW MUCH YOU WISH YOU WERE GEODUDOO." Strangely enough, these declarative statements aren't followed by any laughter at all. "How dare you speak in the third person?" Luthor gets enraged, "That is Luthor's trademark characteristic!" "GEODUDOO DOESN'T CARE." The Geodude shouts, raising his arms up high. Luthor's jaw clenches in frustration, "You don't care?! You don't know who you're dealing with! Respect Luthor, fool!" "GEODUDOO KNOWS EVERYTHING." After making this bold statement, the Geodude points at Luthor, "LUTHOR IS THE ONE WHO MUST RESPECT GEODUDOO. LUTHOR KNOWS THAT GEODUDOO IS HIS HERO. GEODUDOO IS EVERYONE'S HERO. THAT IS WHY GEODUDOO WILL DESTROY EVERYONE." "You aren't Luthor's hero, you inane, insane rock. Luthor is inspired by Lex, his namesake. You don't even make sense! Luthor was going to recruit you into his army, but you're too much of an idiot." Luthor snarls at the Geodude, "It's times like these I wish I was at a high enough level to use the Water Gun attack, so that I could spit on your ugly face!" "YOU HAVE INSULTED GEODUDOO. YOU HAVE BEEN BUMPED UP ON GEODUDOO'S LIST. YOU WILL BE DESTROYED SHORTLY." The Geodude doesn't procure a single piece of paper when he says this. Luthor opens his mouth to continue arguing, but changes his mind and says, "Luthor isn't going to waste any more of his precious time dealing with the likes of you. There is a world that needs conquering, and despite your theory, sitting in a cave with no friends isn't going to help." The Slowpoke storms away as fast as a Slowpoke can, taking the right route. The Geodude stares at the Slowpoke, tries to think of a clever way to respond, but ends up saying, "BYE FAGIT." -Luthor