From: RobfromVoid <RobfromVoid@prodigy.net> Subject: [PW!] Luthor's Evil Schemes Are All Washed Up Date: Tuesday, November 23, 1999 4:38 PM Misty, the Cerulean Gym Leader, is laying back on a horizontal lawn chair next to the large pool that characterizes the Cerulean Gym, relaxing after having gone for an early morning swim which continued past noon. Her damp long red hair is let down, and it cascades down through the holes in the lawn furniture, some strands touching the wet floor. She is wearing a red bikini that is too small for her now that her chest is much more ample. She still wears it since it has sentimental value for her, memories of a certain bikini contest she entered in, of which footage which once existed was lost for some unknown reason... Misty turns her head to the side to see her Togepi, a baby bird-like Pokemon which didn't quite fully hatch from its colorful egg, waddling around the Gym. Whenever Misty allows her Togepi to roam freely, its curiosity usually gets it in trouble. Misty is well aware of this, so she calls out, "Don't go too far away, Togepi!" Satisfied with this simple warning, Misty puts on a pair of headphones connected to a Sony Minidisc, closes her emerald green eyes, and starts dancing in place to the music! "Togeh-toh, Togeh-toh..." Togepi chirps as it waddles towards the Cerulean Gym's pool, curious to see if the other Togepi that is always there to greet it is still there. When Togepi peers into the water in the pool, its reflection peers back! Togepi cheers, "Prrrrriiii!" Togepi closes its eyes and starts clapping, glad to see a similar creature. Togepi peers in a second time, but this time it is surprised to see that a dopey pink Pokemon is floating there instead of its usual friend. Togepi looks shocked, "Togep?!" "Why are you so shocked? Haven't you seen a megalomaniac SLOWPOKE bent on world domination before?" Luthor the Slowpoke growls while slowly climbing out of the pool, "Get out of my way, you insignificant infant!" Luthor raises one paw and slaps Togepi aside, sending the egg-encased Pokemon rolling towards the lawn chair where Misty is laying down on! When Togepi comes to a stop, it starts whining VERY LOUDLY! Tears flow from its eyes, "TOGEH! TOGEH! PREEE!!!" Luthor the Slowpoke cringes when he hears this noise, "Cease behaving so disrespectfully, you blasted banshee!" Luthor tries to clench one of his paws in the shape of a fist, but finds it difficult, "It's almost as if my ability to Attack has been lowered..." Togepi's crying is so loud, in fact, that Misty stops her horizontal dancing, pulls her headphones off, and sits up in her lawn chair to see what the problem is. The Gym Leader finds it right away, and points at Luthor, "YOU! What are you doing here?!" Luthor crawls slowly towards the chair that Misty is sitting on, explaining, "Luthor noticed the sign outside that read 'Cerulean Gym.' Luthor knows that Gyms give out Badges that Luthor needs to get into the Pokemon League, which is the best road towards gaining people's respect in this strange world. Luthor demands you hand over the Badge that you distribute here!" By the time he is done with his declarations, Luthor is standing next to Misty's lawn chair, and Togepi has stopped crying. Misty swings her legs over the side of the lawn chair and stands up in front of Luthor. Though Misty isn't tall compared to other people, Luthor sees her as some sort of giantess from his point of view at her feet. Misty whistles a certain way, and a Dewgong leaps out of the large swimming pool in the middle of the arena, "Dewgong!" It slides up next to Misty and shows her its tongue. A blue water-drop-shaped Badge is stuck to its tongue's saliva. Misty takes the Badge off of the Dewgong's mouth and points it downward at Luthor, "If you want this Cascade Badge, you'll have to challenge me to a Pokemon battle!" "Luthor doesn't have to do anything a mere human tells him to." Luthor narrows his eyes at the Cascade Badge. Since the blue bauble is so small, it only takes a moment for Luthor's telekinetic powers to get a hold on it. The Cascade Badge flies away from Misty's fingers, and floats downward towards Luthor, whose smirk broadens as it gets closer, "I can't believe this is..." STOMP! Misty's foot comes crashing down on the Cascade Badge before it reaches Luthor's greedy little paws. She grasps it in-between her toes and transfers it back into her hand, "No stealing! If you want this Badge, you're going to have to defeat me in a Pokemon match. And just because you tried to steal it, I'm not going to go easy on you anymore!" Luthor winces in disgust at the way Misty manhandled the Cascade Badge, "Could I at least get a different Badge? I mean, it wasn't bad enough that the thing was covered in Dewgong saliva, but you had to go and stick it between..." "No you can't get a different Badge!" Misty fumes, clenching her fists, "You're getting this Badge whether you like it or not!" Luthor's smiles with newfound hope, "Even if I lose?" Misty's starts breathing deeply in frustration before snapping, "NO, NOT EVEN IF YOU LOSE, YOU DUMB DUCK!" "Dumb duck?" Luthor asks, then looks down at himself, "Luthor is a SLOWPOKE." Misty slaps her forehead, and runs her hand down her face, "Sorry... force of habit... Wait, what am I apologizing to you for?!" She grabs the annoying Slowpoke by his white-tipped tail and tosses him head-first into the swimming pool that serves as the Gym Arena. She pushes a button on the wall, then runs up to the side of the pool and dives in after him. Many floating white platforms eject from one side of the pool, and Luthor climbs onto one of them as soon as possible. "Swimming is for the Magikarp..." Luthor mutters. He rejects his half-Water Pokemon nature in hopes that his half-Psychic Pokemon nature will have room to develop into the awesome powers he usually threatens people with. Misty climbs onto another platform across from Luthor's and despite how slippery it is, has no problem finding her footing. She instinctively reaches for her jeans pocket, but soon realizes that she's still in her pocket-less red bikini. Luthor chuckles at the Gym Leader, "You have no Pokeballs! It looks like I win without having to send out a single minion!" "That's what you think! I have many hidden talents..." Misty taps her red bikini top in two places where there are small bumps, and two spheres behind the bikini top enlarge, making her already large bosoms seem thrice as large! She pulls both of the Pokeballs out of her bikini top and shouts, "Misty calls, Staryu!" She sends one of the Pokeball hurtling towards the pool! In a flash of red light, an enigmatic starfish with a red jewel on it emerges. The Staryu floats on the surface and shouts, "Hyaaa!" "Hey! Only Luthor may speak in the third person! Now, as Luthor was saying... Luthor calls Poison Ivy!" Luthor telekinetically moves one of his Pokeballs onto a nearby platform then pushes the button with his mind. The erect female Bulbasaur which emerges stands with her hands on her hips. When she sees the Staryu, she gets in a fighting stance, "Bulbasaur!" Misty points at Poison Ivy, "Staryu, Airborne Tackle attack!" The Staryu floats out of the water and spins in Poison Ivy's direction... It spins out of control, circling Luthor's Bulbasaur, until it finally crashes onto Poison Ivy from behind, causing her to lose her balance! Her two hands fall onto the platform. Though most Bulbasaur wouldn't have a problem being on all four legs, Poison Ivy finds this to be the worst thing that can happen. She angrily stands up and something starts popping out of her bulb... "Your Bulbasaur is evolving?" Misty asks, secretly wanting to see once again the amazing evolution which she once saw in the Bulbasaur's Secret Garden happen though she knows it will surely mean that Staryu will lose, "That's amazing! I've only seen..." "You dolt." Luthor shakes his head mockingly, "Poison Ivy is merely initiating a Leech Seed attack. Poison Ivy, go for it!" Now that her master has commanded it, Poison Ivy ejects a small seed from her dark green bulb which flies straight towards Misty's Staryu, who hovers above the water. The Pokemon gets entangled in a web of vines that eject from the seed upon impact. Staryu cries, "Hyaaa!" Poison Ivy stands up straighter, feeling healthier as Misty's Staryu is drained of health, "Bulba... saur..." Misty feels her Staryu's pain, so she shouts more commands, "Staryu, get back in the water so you can Recover!" For once, since he personally knows how Staryu behave because he studied them at Seafoam, Luthor responds quickly, "Poison Ivy, use your vines to keep Staryu from getting inside the pool. If it can't it the water, it can't Recover!" Two vines emerge from Poison Ivy's back, and they grab onto Misty's Staryu's limbs. The Bulbasaur pulls the Staryu up to her platform. When the entangled Staryu is directly in front of Poison Ivy, something comes over her. She sees her reflection in the Staryu's precious red gem. She places her hands behind her rear end to pose for the red mirror! She then positions one hand behind her head. Poison Ivy stands in various poses, letting her vanity get in the way of her fighting... After her sixth pose, Luthor comes up with an idea. He verbally expresses it during her ninth pose, "Poison Ivy, that gem makes you look fat! Its imperfections make your butt look big! You must destroy it for not capturing your beauty... Use Toxic attack!" Poison Ivy tilts her head while staring into the gem. The Bulbasaur staring back at her does look gorgeous, but she realizes that Luthor does have a point. She is actually at least ten times more gorgeous than that! Poison Ivy's bulb suddenly sprays out acid rain, which drenches the Staryu, then Poison Ivy spits a black Toxic liquid onto the Staryu's gem, which blots it out completely. By the time Misty's Staryu breaks free of Poison Ivy's vines and falls into the water, it has already fainted. Misty watches as her Staryu sinks to the bottom of the pool, "Aww man." She raises the Pokeball in her hand up high, "You may have defeated Staryu, but lets see how well you do against its evolved form. Misty calls Star..." Before Misty can finish, a red beam shoots out of her butt! "Wha?" The red energy settles on the form of... "PSYDUCK! I don't want *YOU*!" "Psy?" Misty's Psyduck, who is standing on one of the platforms, tilts his head to the side while rubbing his head, "Duck." At the same time that this happens, Poison Ivy feels her two green vines strengthening and becoming tougher. She lifts them high up into the air and instinctively cracks them, much like one would crack a whip, "Bulba! Bulbasaur! Bulbaaa!" "What are you doing, Poison Ivy?" Luthor remembers that he doesn't know how to understand Bulbasaurian, "Brainiac, analyze Poison Ivy's current behavior." The Pokedex on Luthor's belt chirps, "Bulbasaur's Attacks, number 4, Vine Whip. Bulbasaur uses its long vines to attack the opponent. This Grass Attack is moderately powerful." Luthor grins sinisterly and commands, "Poison Ivy, just keep hitting that Psyduck with your Vine Whip until it faints, which will probably be after one Vine Whip!" Poison Ivy nods and extends her longer, strengthened vines towards Misty's Psyduck. She Whips him once with one Vine... "Psy." ...then again with another one... "Duck." Thwap. "Psy." Thwap. "Duck." Thwap. "Psy." Thwap. "...DUCK!" If Poison Ivy's vines were playing a game of duck, duck, goose, they just hit the wrong goose - Psyduck's insanity nerve. Psyduck's eyes turn a deep shade of blue and he opens his mouth wide to shout, "PSYDUCK!!!" Misty encourages her Pokemon, "All right, Psyduck, way to get a headache! Use your Confusion attack!" Psyduck points his arms at Luthor's Bulbasaur, "DUCK!" As if following the unintentional suggestion, Poison Ivy falls to the floor in an attempt to avoid the oncoming blast of Confusion, but since it is a Psychic attack, Poison Ivy can't avoid it by merely ducking. The Psychic attack hits the part Poison Pokemon so hard that it sends her fainted body reeling off the platform and into the pool of water! Luthor recalls her with his mind, then ponders who is the next Pokemon he should choose, "Parasite could benefit from absorbing that kind of power... Parasite, come forth!" Luthor telekinetically moves Parasite's Pokeball onto Psyduck's platform and opens it there... The small red Paras that emerges looks up at the Psyduck that looms over him. He lets out a worried little, "Parrras?" At the mere sight of Parasite, Psyduck's headache goes away and he starts laughing hysterically at the Pokemon in front of him! Misty looks appalled at her Pokemon's behavior, "Psyduck! How can *you*, of all Pokemon, laugh at another Pokemon?" Luthor looks more appalled than Misty does, "How can *anyone* laugh in the face of Parasite, the most evil creature in the universe? He who absorbs all your powers and thoughts with a single touch? Parasite, attack he who questions your power!" Parasite raises one of his claws at the Psyduck and pokes him in the stomach with his eyes closed, "Paaaaraaaas?" Psyduck, who is unaffected by the poke, retaliates with a Scratch attack that faints Parasite in one hit... "Psy... duck? Psy-yie-yie?" Psyduck looks down at his pathetic little claw. He has defeated so many Pokemon, but none using just his bare claws, "Psyduck!" Togepi, who has been watching all the action from the sidelines, claps for its companion! "Prrri! Prrri! Prrrrrrri!" Luthor's jaw falls to the platform, and his usually concentrated stare becomes as far off as all other Slowpoke's stares. Even after Misty has finished celebrating with Psyduck and even after she's left the pool, Luthor doesn't snap out of it... -Luthor .