From: Tech Weaver
Subject: [PW] Not Hippy....
Date: Thursday, November 04, 1999 6:53 PM
Bloopabloopabloop
Bloopabloopabloop
Bing!
"All right!" called Smasher, doing a victory dance. "I caught a
Growlithe!" Shuriken the skateboarding Staryu immitated the dance while
Cliff Diver the Clefairy, who stood on Smasher's shoulders, did the "V
for Victory" sign. He picked up the Pokéball. "What should we name
this one, Cliff?"
Suddenly, with a threatening, yet pained, cry, a giant Weezing burst
from the floor of the burned-out mansion and charged straight at them!
Smasher heard as scream, either his or Cliff's, and the three of them
skated as fast as they could on their skateboards. The mutant beast
gaining fast, Shuriken, Smasher and Cliff dove out the window, followed
closely by the Weezing a shower of debris.
The three of them landed hard on the streets of Cinnibar. Then
Smasher's skateboard landed hard on his head. Then he got crushed
under a falling Weezing, which then got up and went back inside the
mansion. Then a marching band lead a small parade (complete with
elephants) over his body to announce that there are only fifty-two
shopping days until Christmas. Then an Eevee walked over to him, lifted
a leg, and scampered off. Then a man in a yellow parka and noreaster
hat ran into him with his tricycle and fell over. (Da na dada duh!)
Smasher pulled himself off the pavement and heard a familiar voice.
"So, Adam "Smasher" Samson, we met again," the voice said.
Adam turned to face the voice. "Alan "Lasher" Sandstone, what a
pleasant surprise," he replied. Alan cringed at the nickname. It was a
cruel joke life had played to have a name that sounded so much like his
rival's. Kids calling him "Lasher" didn't help much.
A person looking at the two would see what seemed to be a boy looking at
his double from an evil paralell world. Alan dressed darkly, a stark
contrast from Adam's lighter colors. Where Smasher wore a plaid shirt
tied around his waist, Lasher had a large piece of black cloth pinned to
his. Samson had a Marowak helmet, Sandstone had a pompador hairstyle.
Both wore sunglasses. Alan had a Ghastly hovering about his shoulder
and a dancing Oddish by his side. You should already know what Smasher
has with him.
"Adam, your looking well," commented Alan.
"Alan, you have a bad haircut," commented Smasher.
"Always quick with the insults, aren't you?" stated Alan. "Cursing is
the refuge of the weak-minded."
"What do you want?" demanded Smasher.
"I was just passing through," explained Alan. "I heard you were in town
and I thought I'd make your life miserable."
Smasher crossed his arms in front of him, like a bouncer at a night
club. "Try all you want, but I'm unflappable!" he countered.
"Big words for such a small mind," chided Alan. "I see you've just
caught a new Pokémon. I just happened to arrive from Seafoam Island
with my latest catch. Lets say we battle them, one on one. Maybe
you'll win yourself a shred of dignity."
"You're on!" accepted Smasher. "Growlithe, it's time to get extreme!"
With a toss of the Pokéball and flash of light, Smasher's new
Growlithe appeared.
"Catch phrases will get you nowhere. Go, Ramstien!" In similar
fashion, a Seel appeared before Alan.
"Seel! Seel!" barked Ramstien.
Smasher was taken aback. He had just now remembered that most Pokémon
from Seafoam island were water types.
"Since you only know one attack, Ramstien," began Alan. "Just Headbutt
him until I tell you otherwise." With that, Ramstien began to charge at
the Growlithe.
"Growlithe! Use your Leer move!" commanded Smasher. The Growlithe just
gave him a confused look before being smacked up side the head by a
Seel.
"Doesn't look like your Growlithe knows that move," commented Alan.
Smasher growled. "Roar, Growlithe! Roar!" Again, another confused
look from the Growlithe and another headbutt from Ramstien.
"Take down!"
Wham!
"Ember!"
Wham!
"Bite!"
Wham!
"Tackle!"
Wham!
"Anything!"
Wham! Wham! Wham!
"Doesn't your Growlithe know ANY moves?" asked Alan. "Ramstien,
return." A flash of red light and the Seel returned to its Pokéball.
"You're giving up?" exclaimed Smasher, shocked.
"I'm saving you the embarrassment of actually losing a match with an
idiotic canine," corrected Alan. "Next time, think before you charge
head first into battle. Good day." Alan turned to his Ghastly and
Oddish. "Deadite, Buster. Let's go." They began to walk off.
"I'll get you next time," threatened Smaher.
"You always have to get the last word?" asked Alan, still walking off.
"No."
"How childish."
"Sez you!"
"See you around, Adam," said Alan as he rounded the corner.
"Not if I see you first!" called Smasher as Alan disappeared from sight.
He turned and headed for the Pokémon Center and could hear Alan's
laughter echoing in the distance. Smasher seethed in anger and stomped
off.
Later, at a well-known Mexican fast-food restaurant, Smasher was sitting
in a both eating with his Pokémon. Shuriken stuffed a burrito into a
metal cup while the Growlithe wolfed down a few Gorditas.
"What am I going to do guys?" Smasher asked, taking a bite from his
taco. "How can I train a Pokémon that doesn't know any moves?" The
Growlithe had finished his Gorditas and was staring intently at Smasher.
"What?" he demanded.
"Yo quiero el nachos," said the Growlithe.
Smasher stared at amazement. Cliff dropped its Mexican pizza.
"You talk!?" exclaimed Smasher.
The Growlithe cock its head to the side.
"Uh... Tu hablas?" asked Smasher, not sure if he had to wording right.
Growlithe nodded.
"Tu hablas Inglés?" asked Smasher. Growlithe shook its head.
"Tu hablas Espanol?" confirmed Smasher. Growlithe nodded.
"Great," conceded Smasher. "He only speaks Spanish. What am I going to
do with an immigrant dog?"
To be continued....
Chet "Tech" Weaver
(who hopes to goddish that the American ad wizards won't call the new
Pokémon anime series "Extreme Pokémon")
Fnord.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A copy of Adam "Smasher" Samson's WG can be found at:
http://community.webtv.net/TheOver-Powerer/pwwg
AGNP quote of the undefined time period:
"u ediot, stop talking in caps d00d"
--Yoda, [PW] Horrible House Guests
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
And now, it's time for... "What's In Chet's Back Pack!" Let's see
what's in Chet's back pack this week!
You rummage through Chet's back pack and find:
A paper airplane. It's a 747, and needs only to be fueled to be ready to
fly. Yes, it's still paper. Yes, it's still flammable. No, we don't know
why.
"What's In Chet's Back Pack!" was brought to you by Warehouse 23, where
THEY keep the stuff THEY don't want you to know about!
(http://www.warehouse23.com)