From: Random Task <random@netstorm.net> Subject: [PW!] Random, BAMF, and the kegger at PokeMon Tech Date: Saturday, November 20, 1999 7:00 PM [P:OTPW!] You might remember my last story from sometime last Spring. I hope remember Random, co-founder of Clan Caterpie, and his author, the man who invented [PW!][NC] Everyone vs. Reg. Random was just hanging out, watching SportsCenter, in his dorm with his 'friend', the ubiquitous and intelligently-annoying Evander, from whom Random got all his term papers. Sometime around 9 P.M., a flier was pushed under the door. Evander ran to get the flier. Random smacked Evander and opened the door. The person who put the flier under the door was evidently gone. The flier read Yo @$#$%!!! M4D pArtaY @ Sigma Sigma Sigma Pootang House!!! PH34R!!!! M4D B33R~!!! M4D H0N13z. ^%$#@ (* -flier edited for content) Random turned around pulled Evander out of his way, "Sorry bud, shower time." Ivan the Ivysaur, who was sleeping on Snorlax' stomach in the rear of the room bleeted as only a non-goat/sheep animal could bleet. Random took a shower, put on his PokeMon Tech sweatshirt, beat Evander mercilessly, picked up Ivan and took off. He was excited for another big rager at the Sigma Sigma Sigma Pootang house. Walking through the dimly lit pathways to the SSSP house, Random noticed tiny little PokeMon frolicing. He all but phased them out. Random repeated his mantra, "punan." About 30 seconds later a loud shock, almost a bolt of lightening (utterly un-subtle foreshadowing) silenced the sounds of the playful PokeMon. Random looked around in disbelief. "What the hell was that, Ivan?" "Saur." "What did you say?" "Saur." "How am I supposed to understand you when you can only say 3 damn syllables???" "...saur...." Random reached the party. He smelled beer. Random followed his astute sense of smell to the keg and put Ivan down next to the couch. "Stay." "Ivy." "I'm going to assume that means 'okay'." Random had a few drinks and began dancing. Random is a rock star, so he has the inate ability to suck at dancing to boypop. Random got angry. Random destroy cd player. music bad... backstreet suck. nsuck.... Random sobered up enough to form logical thoughts and proceeded to repeat his mantra, the content of which I have just been informed not to repeat or else face numerous law suits. Random sat down on the couch by Ivan, who was wooing a Bulbasaur. "Dammit Ivan!!! She's like half your age!!!" "Saur?" "You frickin' perv!!!! Get off her." "Saur......." "I don't know what you just said..." Random was farely dissappointed with his night thus far. He went for a walk behind the SSSP house. A shadowy figure under 3' followed him. Random found a plot-conducive guitar lying on the back patio. Random picked it up and began plucking. About one minute later, Random broke a string and the exlpetives began to fly. "*%^*^# #$&%#^* &#$&#^& %^*#%^%#^&!!!!" "$%&^%^ Random $&#$@" a second voice chorused. "Who said that???" Random said, frightened. "erghjhh.... bad....ass....mo....fo...*^(%(" The figure stepped out of the shadows. It was BAMF! The Evil Green Pikachu. "BAMF!!! You shouldn't have come here." "$^&*#$&" The Pikachu retorted. "DOn't call me that you freak-of-nature." "^*%(^&%* *%^^%(^ (&*^&(" * BAMF challenged (*translation - "bring the rukkus ^$#&&") "Snorlax Go!" Random yelled as he reached for the PokeBall containing the PokeMon whom he left at the dorm. "err... Jigglypuff GO!" Random scrambled his pockets for a PokeBall but only pulled out a Pawn ticket that read, "1 Jigglypuff - good condition $199" Random scowled as he realized he pawned his Jigglypuff off to buy a pirated Dreamcast. "Ivan!!!! Come out here!!!!" Random yelled in frustration "Ivy???" Ivan sounded confused. "I don't know what you just said... but go kick that bloated, green Pikachu's ass." Random ordered. Ivan threw up his....uhh....tendrils and waved BAMF into the party. Random watched dazed as Ivan showed BAMF the keg and the back room for all the other wasted PokeMon. BAMF and Ivan frolicked into the basement and they didn't return until noon the next day. Random reviewed his night, "Let's see... watched Sportscenter...abused and exploited roommate...... wore a college sweatshirt for reasons to which I am oblivious... got drunk.....destroyed other persons' property.... almost got into a fight... " Random paused for a moment. "Damn! I love college." THE END. Note from the author: I am sick with influenza and therefor decided to occupy my Saturday night with a narrative, as opposed to a sedative. I am not in college; everyone else I know is however. Because of this, I have become very jaded to the institution. And plus, No one has heard a word from either Random or BAMF in a couple months, so I felt it time to make a short return. Peter Hassett aka Random ---Hacker.... who knew?