From: RobfromVoid
Subject: [PW!] Christmas Is Such a Magical Time
Date: Tuesday, December 28, 1999 4:08 PM
On a stage set up in front of a rainbow colored caravan underneath the
half-burnt Christmas Tree in Celadon City, Marvin the magician is
cooking up a half-baked magic show for all the little boys and girls who
need to believe in magic during the holiday season. The magician is
dressed as Santa Claus, complete with one of his Jynx assistants, who is
in reality a Ditto named Xerox that Transformed into a Jynx. A Mr. Mime
in a Santa hat and a mature blue-haired woman in a skimpy red outfit,
presumably Mrs. Claus, are bringing large boxes with magical designs on
them onto the stage.
"Merry Christmas!" Marvin waves to people whilst laughing, his belly
wobbling like a bowl full of jelly, "Ho Ho Ho!"
A little orphan boy dressed in brown looks up to the stage with his wide
bright blue eyes and in a very meek voice asks Marvin, "Are... are
you... the real... real Santa? I... want something... something for
Christmas... please..."
"Of course I'm the real Santa, just look at my beard! Ho Ho Ho!" Marvin
laughs, tugging at his white beard, which is glued on.
Xerox the Jynx shudders at Marvin's false claim, but continues to stack
presents underneath the Christmas Tree. She knows from reading the local
newspaper that a terrorist organization for Pokemon liberation attacked
the tree to destroy the Pokeballs underneath and liberate Pokemon that
were being given away as gifts, "Those misguided fools. Are they
completely oblivious to the fact that two wrongs do not make a right,
and that they are just doubling the wrongs that humanity and Pokemon
kind have to face? The mathematics behind it is multiplication, not sign
analysis." Despite her qualms, she continues to stack presents
underneath the giant tree, which is all part of Marvin's show. When
Marvin walks up to her, smiling, she asks, "Why did you deceive that
poor child? You are not really Santa Claus, master, unless there is
something that you have not told me."
Marvin pats Xerox on her metallic yellow hair, "Our job is all about
deception, Xerox... but it's not harmful deception. There's a difference
between lying to make a little boy's wish come true and lying to hurt a
friend who trusts you."
"I find what you did to be the latter." Xerox turns away from Marvin and
heads back into the caravan.
Marvin scratches his head, careful not to knock off his wig or Santa
hat, "I'm sure someone will adopt that kid, eventually, and maybe the
belief that he's going to be adopted might just make it come true. There
is a certain strength behind will power..."
"Santy-man, who ya talkin to?!" Famifax asks, coming up from behind him.
She is wearing a low-cut tight fuzzy red dress that ends with white
lining at her thighs, a Santa hat, and thigh high laced up green boots
to protect her legs from the cold, "We gotta starts tha show before
everyones leaves! Fersure!" She grabs Marvin's sleeve and drags him to
center stage. She points out at the crowd, which is slowly dispersing,
"See?! All those peeps are leavin cuzya totally makinem wait tooo long!"
Marvin nods and smiles a forced smile, since Xerox's words are still
circling about in his mind, making him feel a little uneasy, "Merry
Christmas, everyone! Santa has come a long way from the North Pole to
perform the best Christmas magic show ever, to get everyone in the
holiday spirit and to inspire everyone to have the faith to believe in
magic!" Marvin motions to Famifax, who bends over and turns on a radio
that plays 'Do you belive in magic?', or 'The McDonalds Theme'. The
younger boys and girls smile when they hear the music, and the older
boys smile when they see Famifax bend over. Marvin places his hands on
the pillow that acts as his belly, and laughs heartily, "Ho, ho, ho!
Time to begin the magic show!"
Bozo, the Mr. Mime, hears his cue and drops two pellets, which create a
cloud of red and green smoke that engulfs the stage. Everyone in the
audience watches as two large spotlights shine out through the smoke.
The music in the background shifts to 'Here Comes Santa Claus', then
seconds later, Santa is seen again, now riding his Rapidash, with his
Jynx at his side. Everyone looks awed when they see the Rapidash that
seemingly appeared out of nowhere, but the teenage boys are more
concerned that Mrs. Claus is no where to be seen. One of the boys
shouts, "Hey, where the heck did that hot babe run off to?"
"Hey, watch what you call my wife!" Santa calls out to the audience
while his Rapidash blushes, unseen to the naked eye since the redness
blends with the fire on Rapidash's mane. Santa looks around the stage,
"Hey, that's right... Where *is* Mrs. Claus? She was operating the music
just a moment ago. Oh, I know, she must have run off to the North Pole
to fetch more presents for all the good boys and girls... Not the
naughty ones, like that boy who said she was hot!"
The Rapidash looks like she is about to say something, but Santa pulls
on her reigns and she only lets out a neigh.
A Christmas show heckler shouts out, "Hey, fat man, if you're really
Santa, let's see that Rapidash fly!"
"Why, certainly!" Santa pulls on the Rapidash's reigns and she kicks her
front hooves up. Her front legs stay up while her back legs float off
the stage, and she starts kicking them to propel herself forward, over
the audience. Santa, who is still riding the Rapidash, waves down to the
people he is floating over with one hand while holding on to his Pokemon
with the other.
"He's using strings! Invisible cord!" The heckler cries out, even as the
Rapidash carrying Santa flies over him. Not surprisingly, Rapidash drops
a load on the heckler as she flies over him, but not the kind of load
that little kids like receiving on Christmas morning - just a big,
brown, steaming load. The heckler wipes his poop-covered eyes, and
leaves the show to find a bathroom.
Moments later, Santa lands back on stage as the audience cheers him on.
He glances around stage again, "Mrs. Claus is still at the North Pole?
She must be waiting for me to bring her back... Maybe I should send
Rapidash to get her." Santa's Jynx brings him a large red mantle with a
green Christmas tree painted on it. Santa snatches the mantle and drops
it over his Rapidash. A few seconds after it lands on the Rapidash's
back, the mantle catches on fire! "Oh no, that's the second Christmas
Tree that's caught on fire today! Those lights must be a safety
hazard..." Santa waves his gloved hands over the burning mantle,
"Rapidash, please go, don't stay; Bring Mrs. Claus back right away!" The
burning mantle falls onto the stage. Santa's Jynx raises her arms up
high, and a Blizzard of strong snow falls in the area, putting out the
fire!
The burnt, snow-covered mantle starts to wiggle. The blanket lifts off
the ground, covering what seems like a human arm. Then another arm lifts
up, and the person behind the mantle starts dancing, sawing her hips as
she stands up off the stage. The once red but now blackened mantle
disintegrates, revealing the person dancing behind it - Mrs. Claus. She
many bags full of toys at her feet. She opens the bags and starts
tossing toys out into the audience, until they are all gone!
Santa laughs, hugs Mrs. Claus, then gives her a kiss on the cheek, "Mrs.
Claus, everybody!" Mrs. Claus curtsies to the audience while they
applaud, then she and Jynx run off stage to join Bozo in the nearby
caravan. Santa turns to the gathered audience, takes a bow, and smiles,
"...but that's not all! For my last trick, can I please have a volunteer
from the audience?"
-Marvin Claus