From: Karnivax
Subject: [PW!] [LEAGUE] Down the Drain
Date: Wednesday, December 29, 1999 6:12 AM
I thought I was going to go up against NPC Mike for this round instead
of Lorelei, but I found a way to work with it...
--DOWN THE DRAIN--
Part 1
by Karnivax
"How do you feel?"
"What are you doing here? The flying cactuses are going to get
you...aren't you worried?" Espio incoherently responded as he lay flat
on the lobby floor. His large size was an advantage for him in this
case; were he still a Charmeleon, he would have died several minutes
ago from the deadly and hallucinogenic Nidoqueen venom that was
coursing through his system. "Wait...of course you aren't....you're
doing that thing where you turn silver and melt again..."
"Here, drink this." Kyle handed the white Charizard a small
plastic bottle.
"When I'm famous, I'll remember your generosity, kind frog-boy,"
the delirious Espio queried, as he inhaled the bottle's contents. "It
tastes like burning..."
"It's Antidote," Kyle told him. "The Pokémart was picked clean of
Full Heals and Full Restores...this was all I could get for you."
"Didn't you get any fries?" Espio tossed the empty bottle
aside. "In any event, I'm passing out now. Catch you later..." With
that, Espio fell asleep. Kyle beamed Espio into his Pokéball and
headed over to the main desk to find out who he would be facing in
round four.
After Kyle checked in, the symbol of the only field remaining for
him - the Water Field - shone on the quartet of monitors that stood
behind the main desk with her scythes crossed and her talons tapping
impatiently on the lobby floor. The opponent roulette stopped on a
familiar picture.
"I remember her!" Kyle noted. "That's Lorelei, one of the Elite
Four..."
"To the Water Field!" Jessica said mock-valiantly. She pointed
one scythe skyward.
One Batman-style segue later, a very nervous Kyle was standing
atop the red trainer pillar on the Water Field, and a very confident
Jessica was standing next to the pillar.
"I believe it was Samuel Coleridge who wrote 'Water, water
everywhere, and not a drop to drink,'" came the announcer's cheesy
intro. "Hello, sports fans, and welcome to the fourth round of the
Pokémon League Games! The first combatant has already arrived on the
Water Field...give it up for our red trainer, the as-of-yet undefeated
Kyle Richter, of Cinnabar Island!" The crowd cheered quite
significantly this time as Kyle was once again introduced.
Then Lorelei, who was wearing elliptical glasses and a black dress
that came down to her knees, entered the field from the opposite side
and stepped on to the green pillar. Most of the crowd cheered madly,
but there were a few people booing as well...no doubt trainers that
Lorelei had defeated.
"The green trainer here today will be the also-undefeated Lorelei,
who really needs no introduction," the announcer noted. "Her team of
ice Pokémon has worked wonders for her thus far...but she may have to
make some substitutions if she hopes to bring the versatile Kyle down."
"I defeated you once; I can do it again," Kyle boasted. Lorelei,
who would have normally made a snide retort, was oddly silent.
The ubiquitous bald-headed referee emerged from a side entrance
and took his usual sideline position. This time the audience joined in
as the ref shouted out his usual fist-pumping intro: "Let's get it on!"
It took several seconds for Kyle to form the words, and several
seconds more to expel them from his mouth: "Jessica, I choose you!"
Before Kyle was even able to finish that sentence, the adrenaline-
loaded Scyther leapt to one of the Water Field's buoyant platforms and
took a fighting stance.
Lorelei tossed down a Pokéball without saying a word. Both Kyle
and Jessica sweatdropped as a hideous long-haired humanoid Pokémon
materialized in front of Jessica.
"Jynx...jynx..." the effeminate Pokémon greeted, in its best
attempt at a sultry voice.
Jessica stuck her tongue out. "Augh...Jynx are even uglier in
person!"
Without even waiting for an order from its trainer, Jynx jumped to
Jessica's platform, caught the Scyther in a tight bear-hug, then
puckered up for a Lovely Kiss attack.
"This is *not* 'Ally McBeal!'" With all her might, Jessica pushed
Jynx's face apart from her own with her scythes, then kicked out of
Jynx's grasp. As Jynx recoiled, Jessica lunged, Slashed the portly
humanoid across the face, then roundhouse-kicked her in the chest.
Kyle was about to shout out an order, but he had no idea which
techniques Jessica knew. "Um...Swords Dance?" he suggested feebly.
Jessica nodded, then showed off her breakdancing skills while Jynx
stood wiping blood off of her face.
"Jynx, jynx!" Jynx slid toward Jessica and tried to hit her with
a one-two Ice Punch combination. Jessica easily sidestepped the slow
punches, then nailed Jynx with a left uppercut Slash that sent the
humanoid sailing into the water. Kyle's jaw dropped as he realized
that he should have had more faith in Jessica from the start.
"Now, Wing Attack!" Kyle tried. As Jynx splashed about in the
water, Jessica did nothing. "Do you *know* Wing Attack?"
"I do," Jessica responded. "But I'm not going to attack a Pokémon
that can't defend itself." Jessica pointed to Jynx, who was such an
inept swimmer that she could not even dog-paddle back over to the
platform.
Lorelei looked as if she were about to finally say something, but
she did not. After half a minute of flailing about wildly, the worn-
out Jynx sunk.
"Jynx is unable to fight!" the referee boomed. He raised the red
flag. One of the green lights on the scoreboard went out.
An embittered Lorelei withdrew Jynx, then immediately sent out a
second Pokémon. Her second Pokémon was the biggest Lapras that Jessica
had ever seen. "Laaap. Prasss," the blue creature said melodiously.
--DOWN THE DRAIN--
Part 2
by Karnivax
Without a word, Lorelei pointed at Jessica, and the hefty Lapras
bounced into action. Jessica backflipped out of the way as Lapras went
to flatten her with a Body Slam. Flaunting her vast speed advantage,
Jessica rapidly Slashed the plesiosaur twice across the muzzle, then
landed a spin-kick that caused Lapras's head to snap back.
"Double Team!" Kyle shouted. Jessica the Scyther slid to one
side as Lapras rifled off an Ice Beam, and suddenly two additional
Jessicas appeared. Lapras sweatdropped. "Now, Wing Attack!" As
Jessica prepared for the Wing Attack, Lapras feebly spat out an Ice
Beam that passed right through one of the Scyther.
"Uh-oh! It's triple trouble for Lapras!" came the announcer's
ever-cheesy commentary.
All at once, the three Scyther pointed their wings at Lapras. And
all at once, three volleys of razor-sharp wing-scales were launched
right at the plesiosaur. Two of the volleys were mere illusions, of
course...but the third was very real. The wing-scales tore through
Lapras's saurian skin like glass. The plesiosaur let out a shrill cry
as she backed off a bit. "Praaasss!"
Lapras then bounded into the water and started Surfing around and
around the platform at full speed. As Lapras Surfed, she unleashed Ice
Beam after Ice Beam upon the trio of Jessicas. Jessica dodged by
repeatedly jumping to the other platform and then jumping back. This
evasion game continued until Lapras was out of ice. The three Scyther
became one again.
Jessica clumsily took flight and sliced away at the floating
Lapras with a string of five straight Slash attacks. Lapras's soft
body blunted the combination significantly, but not enough to keep the
plesiosaur from bleeding profusely. Undaunted, Lapras clapped her
front flippers together and kicked up a violent water wave that knocked
Jessica out of the air and back on to one of the platforms.
"Wing Attack again!" Kyle called out. Jessica stood up, but
recognizing that Lapras was already in pretty bad shape, the Scyther
hesitated to attack any further.
Realizing that she was being granted a bit of a reprieve from
further pain, the plesiosaur capsized on purpose as her way of
admitting defeat. "Laaap...prasss..." she burbled.
"Lapras is unable to fight!" the referee pointed out. Another
green light went out.
"Kyle's Scyther is really running the show!" the commentator
remarked. "Will Lorelei be able to snatch victory from the jaws of
defeat?"
Lorelei's face was red with rage, but still she remained quiet.
She recalled Lapras and tossed down her third and final Pokéball. The
audience let out a collective gasp as Lorelei's third Pokémon
materialized.
"This must be some sort of mistake...Lorelei has sent out a
Magmar!" the commentator announced. "What is she thinking?"
"Mag! Mar!" As he stood atop the platform closest to Lorelei,
Magmar threw several practice punches before pounding his fists togther
and pointing at Jessica menacingly. "Mag!"
"Double Team again!" Kyle ordered. Before Kyle even reached the
word "again," Magmar had lunged over to Jessica's platform and was
wasting no time in pounding the curvaceous Scyther's scaly face with a
series of Mega Punches.
As Jessica fell on her abdomen from the assault, she did not even
have a second to get up before Magmar hammer-punched her on top of the
head and tailwhipped her into the water. "Mag mar!" A wide burn-mark
was left across Jessica's thorax where Magmar's tail-flame hit.
"Uh...Slash!" Kyle tried. Jessica flew out of the water and went
to dive-bomb Magmar. The second Jessica reached her apex, however,
Magmar incinerated her wings with a Flamethrower attack and then struck
her falling form in the midriff with a Mega Punch that slammed her hard
into the red pillar. The force almost knocked Kyle off.
The scorched and now-apterous Jessica vomited up blood before
falling into the water once again. Magmar obligingly pulled Jessica
out of the water, only to toss her straight up into the air seconds
later and blast her with another Flamethrower attack. Jessica had no
hope of winning at that point. She fell flat on the platform and
fought just to stay conscious.
"Scyther is unable to fight!" the referee noted. At last, one of
the red lights on the scoreboard went out. Kyle started to panic as he
realized he did not have a Pokéball to beam Jessica into.
"Mag!" Magmar was not satisfied with the ref's call. The fire-
duck lifted Jessica up by the neck and hammered her thorax with another
Mega Punch. Blood spewed from Jessica's mouth upon impact.
"He's going to fucking *kill* her!!!" Kyle shouted, wondering if
he could have possibly leapt on to the field to rescue the human-turned-
mantis.
Magmar would have been more than happy to continue destroying
Jessica, but suddenly Lorelei signaled to him. Magmar put Jessica down
for the time being, turned toward Kyle, and took a deep breath. Kyle
had no idea what to expect, but Jessica seemed to. In spite of the
unimaginable pain that was tearing her apart, Jessica summoned every
bit of strength remaining within her and stood up.
Then everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. First Magmar
expectorated a lumbering and huge Fire Blast that was aimed directly up
at Kyle. Then, mere milliseconds later, Jessica, empowered by the
urgency of the situation, long-jumped off of the platform and triangle-
jumped off of Kyle's pillar. The triangle-jump gave Jessica just
enough altitude to put herself in between the Fire Blast and Kyle.
Kyle was too stunned to notice the burning-hot explosion that
happened then. All Kyle knew when he regained cognizance seconds later
was that he caught Jessica as she crashed into him on top of the
trainer pillar, and she was dying in his arms. Sweat pouring down his
face, Kyle lifted the charred Jessica up and leapt off of the red
pillar. He nearly broke his back just to land on his feet, but he did
not care. He sprinted at full speed for the Pokécenter. Cathode, who
was being violently jostled around inside Kyle's backpack, was
cushioned well by the clothing the backpack contained.
"This...this is unbelievable..." the commentator
stammered. "I...I don't fully understand...what just happened..." He
motioned to the television crew nearby. "What the hell are you waiting
for?! Go to commercial, you idiots!!!"
A whole squad of Officer Jennys charged out on to the field as
Lorelei recalled Magmar, jumped down from the green pillar, and ran for
the exit. "Stop!" one Jenny commanded. "You're under arrest for
attempted...assisted murder!" Lorelei did not listen. Just as it
looked like the swift Lorelei was widening the gap between her and the
police, the lead Jenny tossed down a Pokéball, and out came a mighty
Arcanine. The lightning-quick Arcanine rammed into Lorelei's back and
knocked the retreating trainer down.
Much to the shock of everyone in the audience, Lorelei started to
change shape. The Arcanine took a few steps back and watched in
surprise as "Lorelei" revealed herself to be a simple pink Ditto
carrying three Pokéballs. As the police closed in, the pink
shapeshifter frantically scanned the audience for a Pokémon to
Transform into, and eventually found one of the ones it was looking
for. The Ditto dropped two of its Pokéballs, then quickly morphed into
a Kadabra and Teleported out of sight.
Suddenly, a door opened on the far side of the stadium, and the
real Lorelei fell out. Her ankles were tied together, her wrists were
tied behind her back, and her mouth was taped shut. As the officers
untied Lorelei and removed the tape, the Elite Four member shrieked
that a Ditto had attacked her in the locker room and stolen two of her
Pokémon. One of the Jennys showed Lorelei the pair of Pokéballs that
the Ditto had dropped, and Lorelei confirmed that they were hers.
Eventually the referee decided how to call this match. "Kyle was
the first to leave his pillar during the match," the ref
explained. "That's automatic disqualification. And since two Pokémon
owned by Lorelei were active in the match, she *will* be considered as
having participated. The match goes to Lorelei!"
At that moment, Kyle burst through the Pokécenter door and pushed
past the trainers that were stacked up in the waiting room. Panting,
Kyle set Jessica down on top of the front desk and hit the bell several
times.
Eventually an exhausted Chansey rushed out to answer the call.
Kyle was about to explain, but he did not get the chance. "Chan
seeeeey!!!" Recognizing that for the second time at this year's Games
a life-and-death situation was at hand, Chansey placed Jessica atop a
gurney and then headed straight for the E.R.
Kyle fell to his knees. "Jessica...hang on..."
So as not to surprise you later, I'd like to inform the few people who
have the patience to read my stories now that I'm leaving the PW! as
soon as the Pokémon League Games end. As if the Vorge Debacle weren't
enough, the fact that I've been slowly bogarting the ideas of other
writers (namely Roberto and Shard) of late is a definite indicator that
I've spent all of my best material. This leave is NOT permanent,
though, so don't go planning to kill off my characters. The second
that the G/S Pokémon get incorporated into the Wars (assuming that that
happens within the next year), I shall return.
--K * A * R * N * I * V * A * X--
"Our wretched society is so made that those who
walk on the well-trodden path always throw stones
at those who are showing a new road." --Voltaire
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