From: Karnivax <karnivax@my-deja.com> Subject: [PW!] [LEAGUE] On the Rocks, With a Twist Date: Thursday, December 23, 1999 7:10 PM Leviathan the Dragonite returns! Yaaay! --ON THE ROCKS, WITH A TWIST-- Part 1 by Karnivax The field roulette, which now had only the Water and Rock Fields left to land on, came to a stop on the symbol of the Rock Field. Kyle sweatdropped. "Jessica, I really, really think you should reconsider fighting for me," he said in desperation. "Scyther is doubly weak against rock. If the enemy is smart enough to use the terrain as a weapon, you -" "I'm very touched by your concern," Jessica responded, bashfully covering up as much of her body as possible with her blades. She had had multiple nightmares in which she was naked in front of a crowd, and such dreams made her insecure enough about her own body that even while in her Scyther form, she hated being naked. "But you're being too pessimistic. Even if I get shellacked out there, I'm confident in the healing prowess of Nurse Joy." The bystanders who overheard this exchange between the trainer and the curvaceous blue Scyther were not at all surprised to see a talking, miscolored Pokémon. They were more surprised by the fact that the Scyther had a human name. Next Kyle started the roulette that would determine the identity of his third opponent. This roulette stopped on the face of a buzz- cut, clean-shaven man with a square jaw and a very determined facial expression. "Jess, do you know this one?" Kyle queried. "I've never seen him before, no," Jessica responded. She silently prayed to Goddish that no one in the main lobby would recognize her voice. "That's Joseph Rockwell," the receptionist explained, pointing to the screen. "He's a drill sergeant from Celadon." "Heh heh...a real G.I. Joe," Jessica chuckled, trying to mask just how nervous she really was. "Let's get this over and done with," Kyle said. He left the main lobby with Jessica and Cathode, then pointed the way to the Rock Field. On the way to the site of Kyle's third Pokémon League match, Jessica wondered, "Hey, Kyle, what are you going to do with Cathode? We can't have him counted as one of your Pokémon." "Pika?" The furry blue ball that sat atop Kyle's head suddenly budged as Cathode the constantly sleepy Pikachu lapsed back into consciousness. "I'd send him into Cinnabar cyber-storage, but I don't want to burden Dad any further," Kyle responded. "Dad already has to deal with a Golem, a Rhydon, a Marowak, and an Alakazam. Not to mention Seaclamp and Fenris, both of which I sent home while I was trying to divert my attention away from that little metamorphosis of yours." Jessica's transformation had happened much quicker than had been anticipated. Jessica had hoped to slip off to the women's room where she could change in private, but instead she had transformed very suddenly right in front of Kyle. The fact that Jessica's tank top had been torn apart very early in the metamorphosis made the situation quite awkward for both involved. "Sooo...what will you do with the little blue sparkplug?" Jessica asked again. "Watch," Kyle replied. He lifted Cathode off of his head, then placed the electric rodent in his backpack. He zipped the backpack most of the way shut, leaving Cathode with a sufficient air-hole. "Chuuu..." came Cathode's muffled whimper from inside the backpack. Jessica opened her mouth as if to say something, but she remained silent. Kyle and Jessica arrived at the Rock Field just in time for their match. As usual, Kyle was introduced first. He took his place atop the green trainer pillar. As Jessica stood next to the pillar, she had trouble finding a standing position in which the tremendous audience did not make her feel indecently exposed somehow. The announcer introduced Kyle, and, as always, the audience gave Kyle a half-hearted cheer. Despite Kyle's success so far, the audience seemed to primarily support the trainers who had competed in previous tournaments. Sergeant Joseph Rockwell, a muscular man wearing camouflage pants and a bulletproof vest, emerged from the other side of the stadium and took his place on top of the red trainer pillar. He was greeted with even less of a cheer, surprisingly enough. "It's time for round three, sports fans!" the announcer started up. "Our Rock Field matchup du jour is Cinnabar Island's Kyle Richter versus Celadon City's Joe Rockwell! Kyle has won his first two rounds, while Joe has lost his...but I was informed earlier that Joe will be using a whole different trio of Pokémon for this match! Our guest announcer today will be the quote-unquote 'Smartest Man in Professional Wrestling,' World Championship Wrestling's own Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan!" "You know, one just has to wonder...who was doing the thinking for that team?" queried "The Brain." "Let's see...Joe had a ice-shooting blob of blubber, a Venus flytrap with lockjaw..." "Hold up there, Bobby," the first announcer interrupted. "Joe's a Pokémon Tech graduate. He's a well-educated man." "Yeah, but he got his sister to do his homework for him, I found out!" Bobby countered. The referee took his place on the sidelines and gave his usual introduction: "Let's get it on!" The audience went wild. "The Pokémon in the first matches were just my second string," Joe informed Kyle. "This time I'm not holding back! Omastar, I choose you!" From Joe's first Pokéball came what appeared to be a hybrid of echinoderm and mollusk. The creature's spiral-shaped shell was lined with spikes, its mouth with razor-edged beaks. "Oma star," the bizarre beast said in a guttural voice. "Oma star oma. Star!" Jessica was about to leap into action when Kyle told her not to. "Dad had an Omastar in his lab some months ago," Kyle explained. "It's a rock Pokémon." Jessica sighed and sat down next to Kyle's pillar as Kyle sent out Ares. "Omastar is one tough Pokémon to crack!" the main announcer noted. "Kyle's Machamp will have its work cut out for it here!" "Oh, please. I can tell you how to beat Omastar," Bobby boasted. "You lay down a plate of animal crackers, and when he goes for 'em, you put the boots to 'im." Ares crossed all four of his arms upon seeing his diminutive and nigh-immobile opponent. He removed his sunglasses and displayed the People's Eyebrow. "Champ. Ma champ champ," he grunted. He did not even bother to take off his Hawaiian shirt. "Ares, Low Kick," Kyle commanded. Ares showed off his pythons for a few seconds, then barreled toward Omastar, jumped, and landed a spin- kick on the side of Omastar's shell. Omastar did not even budge. "Champ?" Ares axe-kicked Omastar between the eyes. The primitive Pokémon flinched slightly. "Stick with Low Kicks!" Kyle ordered. Ares leaned back a bit and unleashed a chain of lightning-quick kicks that very nearly set the Machamp's foot ablaze. Omastar's stone-like hide stood up well against Ares's jackhammer-like barrage, however. After twenty seconds or so of frenzied kicking, Ares's foot started bleeding, and the assault ended. "Omastar, Spike Cannon," Joe directed. Omastar curled up and rolled out of Ares's reach, then launched three spikes from his shell at the Machamp. Ares caught all three of the slow-moving missiles and was about to arrogantly toss them aside when all three of them suddenly exploded in his hands. Ares was knocked back a few feet by the violent blast, but he remained standing. Omastar fired off a second volley which still did not knock the mighty Machamp over. It took the full blast from five simultaneous spikes to finally make Ares's head hit the stone ground. Ares flipped to his feet just as Joe called for a Water Gun. Omastar tilted one spike toward Ares and unleashed a firehose-like stream of water from it. Ares simply opened his mouth wide and inhaled Omastar's attack. "Maaahhh..." the refreshed Machamp sighed. "Mmm...nothing quite like prehistoric Pokémon water to keep you going in a long Pokémon match," "The Brain" remarked. "Seismic Toss!" Kyle called. Ares pounded his fists together, then charged and grabbed Omastar by one tentacle. The Machamp jumped high into the air, swung Omastar around in midair a few times, then finally slammed the prehistoric Pokémon face-first into the ground. The impact could be heard for miles. Dust rose from the hole into which Omastar had been driven. The referee prepared to raise the green flag. Ares crossed his arms and waited to stride off victoriously. A tentacle emerged from the hole. Seconds later, Omastar burst forth. His shell was horribly cracked, but he looked ready to continue. Ares bared his teeth. "Now, Hydro Pump!" Joe bellowed. Omastar rammed one of its spikes into the ground. Before Ares knew what was happening, a tremendous waterspout erupted from terra firma and blasted the Machamp high into the air. Ares came down on top of a vaguely mushroom-shaped rock. A repulsive CRACK was heard by the audience. The Machamp lay paralyzed, its back broken. "Maaa...champ..." he gasped. "Machamp is unable to fight!" the ref shouted. The red flag went up. A green light went out on the scoreboard. Kyle recalled Ares and wondered what he could send in besides Jessica. --ON THE ROCKS, WITH A TWIST-- Part 2 by Karnivax Kyle then decided to take a chance with one of Jessica's Pokémon. He reached into his backpack, where Jessica's clothes were being kept for the time. Cathode, who was still inside the backpack as well, perked up upon seeing the zipper unzip. "Piii -" Kyle clapped one hand over the Pikachu's mouth and removed the first Pokéball he found in the backpack. Then he zipped the pack most of the way shut again. "Come on, give me something good..." Kyle pleaded as he tossed down one of Jessica's Pokéballs. Out came Leviathan the Dragonite. "Oh, dear Goddish, no!" Jessica slapped one scythe against her forehead upon seeing that Kyle was simply looking for alternatives to sending her out. "It's about damn time someone let me out of there!" Leviathan's translator bellowed. "I grew three feet while I was stuck in that f'ing Pokéball!" Sure enough, as the result of one gigantic growth spurt, the Dragonite that was once a five-foot midget was now an eight-foot giant. Omastar sweatdropped. "Well, lookie here," Leviathan commented, upon noticing that he had a challenger. "Poor little lonely ankle-biter wants some attention." Kyle pounded his fists against the guardrail of his pillar in frustration. "This should be easy enough," Joe remarked. "Omastar, Blizzard attack!" "Don't even think about bringing that icy crap into my house, uh- uh!" Leviathan interrupted. Before the slow Omastar could freeze the Dragonite to the bone, Leviathan formed a spherical Thunderbolt in his right hand and served it like an electric volleyball at Omastar. Omastar was shocked right back to the Stone Age. Charred almost beyond recognition, Omastar wheezed pathetically and fell over sideways. The green flag went up. "Omastar is unable to fight!" Joe angrily withdrew Omastar. Kyle stopped pounding his fists and started cheering. "I guess you grew some sense along with that extra height!" Kyle yelled to Leviathan. "Please. Hold your ambiguous praise until the end of the match," Leviathan proudly responded. Joseph reached into his vest and pulled out a second Pokéball. "Let's see how Puff the Magic Dragonite fares against Hitmonchan!" he boomed. From the Pokéball came a Hitmonchan wearing a tank top, gold-colored gloves, boxing trunks, and black boots. "Oh, no!" Bobby Heenan cried. "Joe must have boosted some more clothes from the souvenir booth!" "Mon chan!" Hitmonchan threw a few rapid practice jabs before confidently approaching Leviathan and hammer-punching him on top of the head. "Hit mon chan!" Leviathan rubbed his pained head briefly. "That your best?" the Dragonite wondered. "Come on, I want to work up a sweat here! I have some pounds I could stand to lose..." "Will you settle for a cold sweat? Use Ice Punch!" Joe bellowed. "Now what did I say about that icy B.S.?" Leviathan grunted. He saw Hitmonchan's Ice Punch coming from a mile away. Leviathan tilted his head to one side to dodge the punch, then grabbed hold of the humanoid's left wrist. With little fanfare, Leviathan dislocated Hitmonchan's left arm. The audience cringed at the cracking sound. "Dragonite has popped Hitmonchan's arm loose! It's hanging limp!" the main commentator cried. "Eh, Dragonite's doing Hitmonchan a favor," said Bobby. "Maybe once Hitmonchan's arm swells up like a beach ball, it'll look like it's actually got a few muscle cells in there!" Even with Hitmonchan's arm causing the humanoid immense pain, Leviathan gave the fighting Pokémon no recovery time. He knee-bashed Hitmonchan in the gut, then tailwhipped the humanoid across the face, knocking the piston-puncher down. After that, Leviathan ran over to a nearby boulder and triangle-jumped off of it with both hands interlocked and raised high above his head. "Dragonite's going for the double axehandle..." Suddenly the fallen Hitmonchan raised its one good arm and caught the airborne Leviathan by the neck. "...Awww! He got caught!!!" Hitmonchan then stood up and slammed Leviathan's head into the ground using a little superhuman strength. The arena shook. "And Dragonite just got dumped on his head! Looks like Hitmonchan's still kicking...so to speak..." "Mon chan..." Hitmonchan finally popped its dislocated arm back into its socket. "Now, use your Ice Punch again!" Joe shouted. Leviathan got up just in time to see Hitmonchan charging toward him with both freezing fists a-flying. One Ice Punch landed, and it froze much of Leviathan's chest. No further Ice Punches got through, however. Leviathan quickly grabbed both of Hitmonchan's arms and kicked the fighter hard between the legs. Hitmonchan hardly flinched. "What? You a lady or something?" Leviathan sheepishly wondered. Before Hitmonchan could break out of his grasp, Leviathan bashed the fighting Pokémon's head with his. "Well, I got no qualms about hitting a lady," the Dragonite added. He let go of Hitmonchan, and the ambiguously female fighter collapsed. The green flag went up a second time. Joe recalled Hitmonchan. "That's it!" Joe roared at Leviathan. "This last Pokémon is going to blast the scales clear off your hide!" He reached into his vest. "Now which pocket did I put that Pokéball in...?" Suddenly a Pokéball slipped out of his vest and fell into the arena. "Nooooo!!!" Joe cried, as it was the wrong Pokéball. From Joe's Pokéball came a Magikarp, which simply flopped about on the stone arena and chanted "Karp, karp, karp, karp..." Joe, who had clearly forgotten his dignity as a soldier, looked to be holding back tears. "Joe has chosen a Magikarp as his final Pokémon!" the main announcer noted. "If he saved it for last, surely it must be some sort of super-fish!" "Peh. Yeah, right," Bobby countered. "Let's just face it...the last part of this match is gonna be a real suck-fest." Leviathan carefully strode over to the frenetically flopping fish. "Not a terribly aggressive critter, are you?" Leviathan commented. He lifted the slippery carp off of the ground, tossed it into the air, then punted it into Joe's pillar. Magikarp slid down from the pillar, then went right on flopping helplessly. Suddenly Magikarp stopped flopping. Its body glowed with a blinding light. The harmless fish transformed into a gigantic blue serpent that looked decidedly like an Oriental dragon. Suddenly faith was restored to Joe. "Yes!!!" he shouted. "And Magikarp has evolved into Gyarados!" the main announcer shouted. "Apparently, kicking a Magikarp really speeds its evolution process along! We've got a match, folks!" "I wouldn't bet on that," Leviathan replied. He pointed one index finger at the rapidly approaching serpent, then fired a bullet-sized Thunderbolt into the monster's open mouth. Gyarados let out an ear- piercing roar as an electric current that was virtually unhampered by resistance surged through its whole serpentine body. Smoke was rising from Gyarados as he crashed to the ground. "That'll be the day some level-twenty punk takes me down," Leviathan snorted at the fallen serpent. Just to strengthen his point, he kicked the giant dragon in the teeth before going into a victory dance. The green flag went up once again. Joe fell to his knees in frustration. He had lost three matches in a row now. "Kyle's Dragonite has shut down Joe's trio singlehandedly! This match is over!" the main announcer shouted. "Stay tuned, those of you watching us...there'll be better matches to come, I swear it!" Kyle recalled Leviathan, then jumped down from the green pillar. Jessica the Scyther was still sitting next to the pillar, but now she looked somewhat annoyed that she had not been given the chance to fight. "What, did I transform just for practice?" she asked irritably. In Scyther form she was not nearly as passive as in human form. "You make for a very sexy Scyther," Kyle responded, trying to see Jessica from the viewpoint that Torrasque might have had. "I thought to myself, 'Before Jessica gets all mussed up in battle, the audience deserves a whole round just to bask in her radiant reptilian/insectoid beauty.'" "All right, you've sweet-talked your way out of this one, Kyle," Jessica admitted. "But I get first strike in round four. Any objections?" "Just one - OOOWWW!!!" Kyle was cut off as Jessica kicked him in the groin. He fell to his knees. "No objections..." he wheezed. "Good." Jessica grinned. "Did I ever tell you how pretty your eyes are when your adrenaline is rising past healthy levels?" Kyle commented in a slightly higher- pitched voice than usual. Sure, that was half-assed...but I had a deadline to fill! ^^;;; --K * A * R * N * I * V * A * X-- "Our wretched society is so made that those who walk on the well-trodden path always throw stones at those who are showing a new road." --Voltaire Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.