From: Jose L. Solano <jsolano199@aol.comlink> Subject: [PW!] The man... er Pokémon with the plan Date: Wednesday, December 29, 1999 11:26 AM (For your convenience, all Pokemon languages have been translate.) “Dude, what?” Magmar stared at Sandslash with a puzzled expression. “Magmar, this is the fifth time I’ve had to explain it to you!” Sandslash yelled. “Step 1- Magmar, you run off and have either Tenchi or Natasha follow you, but not both. Make sure to take one of their own Pokémon. Natasha seems attached to the Charizard bitch.” “What’s the point?” Raticate asked. “When one of them, say Natasha, is after Magmar, you and Fearow pretend you’re dying, then Tenchi might stay behind to watch after you.” “And why would you want to seperate them?” Fearow asked, perched in a tree. “I’m getting there. Step 2- We make sure Tenchi and Natasha have no contact between each other or anyone else. Magmar, make sure the one who follows you has no access to public phones, letters or even messanger Pidgey. Burn out the phone lines, paper and pen, and barbecue the Pidgey.” “Do I get to eat the Pidgey?” Magmar asked. “Yes, you get to eat the fuckin Pidgey! Anyway, Step 3- Raticate and Fearow, keep whoever stays with you busy. Make sure he or she’s too busy with you to answer the phone, check the mail, or receive guests.” “What if one of his or her own Pokémon is seriously ill? What are we to do?” Fearow asked. “Well, if that’s the case, Raticate, you pretend to get even sicker to distract Tenchi. Fearow, you take care of his or her Pokémon.” “My pleasure.” Fearow always looked forward to killing. It always brought back memories of when he would hunt Raticate’s friends. “Magmar, if Natasha is chasing you, run back to their house, get my Pokéball and run back out before she can catch you. If Natasha stays with Raticate and Fearow, I stay too. Step 5- Once we know that Natasha and Tenchi are a reasonable distance away from each other, whoever has my Pokéball with them release me. I keep Natasha prisoner. If I’m with Magmar, we send a messanger Pidgey to Tenchi, telling him where we have his wife hostage. If I’m with you two, we have Fearow tell Tenchi.” “How am I supposed to know where he is?” Fearow asked. “Magmar’s not just gonna run around, he’ll have a set course.” He swiped some grass away from the ground and held a stick between his claws. He wrote a map in the dirt. “Ok, here’s their house.” “Who’s house?” “Tenchi and Natasha! Magmar, pay attention you stupid fuck!” Sandslash hit Magmar over the head with the stick, setting it on fire. He waved the stick around and put out the fire. “Ok, here’s TENCHI and NATASHA’s house. Here’s the park and here’s the burnt out church.” Sandslash drew two crooked squares. “Ok, Magmar, you go straight for the park, and lead whoever around. After about an hour move on to the burnt church, and spend two hours there. Whoever follows you will be slowed down by inhaling the ashes, and will chase you at a slower pace. After the two hours are up, leave the church and run down Kangaskhan street. Turn left on Hitmonlee and keep going straight. After going down Hitmonlee avenue for a while, about half an hour on foot...” “Half an hour?!” “It’s a long street. You’ll end up near the Celadon Gym. Go inside and wreak havoc for three hours. Make sure to make it look like an accident. After that, run out and towards the Pokémon Mart and ‘accidentally’ knock over most of the shelves and spill potions and antedotes everywhere. Run out and return to the burnt church. Make sure to sit in quiet and tell them that you’re meditating. If Natasha’s with you, release me and I’ll do the rest. Fearow, you got that?” “Yes.” “Good. The whole route will take about 6 and a half to 7 hours. Raticate and Fearow, you two will act sick for only 7 hours. Any questions?” “One.” Raticate said. “When are we going to do this?” “In a week. Starting next Thursday at 8 AM, Magmar steals Natasha’s Charizard and runs. Any other questions?” "Yes, what is it you plan to accomplish, Sandslash?" Fearow asked. "Well, once Tenchi gets word that we've kidnapped his wife, he'll probably rush to save her. When he finds us, we'll be torturing Natasha, and tell him to give us our freedom or we take her life. If he truly does love her, then he'll have no choice but to free us. I'll kill Natasha anyway, then kill him. Either way, they both die." Jose Luis Solano ------------------------------- Offical Member of the AFSH Stupid Brigade ------------------------------- Hey Regulus- Where's your Burger King Scyther kechain?